If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?

 We were pretty poor when I was a kid, but I wouldn't say that it actually effected my quality of life in any way. I may have minded at the time, but I know now that my parents did what they could for me. My parents didn't get along. They had a lot of fights. My dad had a notoriously short fuse (as do I) and my mom was constantly depressed. I grew up thinking my mom didn't want much to do with me because she spent so much time alone in her room. She wasn't happy and she wanted out. One night my dad exploded. My mom had had enough so we left. I don't remember anything about their problems. I don't recall him ever hurting anyone. I knew they fought, but I don't remember details. I must have blocked them out. I was 7 years old when my parents divorced. My dad started out coming to get me every weekend, after all my dad and I had an awesome relationship. I was a daddy's girl really. Each year, though, my dad would move a little further west and my mom and I would move a little further east. Visitations grew further apart. Now we live a few hours away from each other so I only see him on holidays which bothers me because I wish my kids could know him better. My dad has improved tremendously. So has my mom. They are so much better as friends than they ever were as a couple. So, I suppose regretting their getting divorced doesn't make sense because it improved everything. I just wish there wasn't a need for their divorce. I can't imagine how different my life would be. Things have worked out fine though. And it doesn't make much sense to regret things when your life turns out fine.

If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?

This is a good question. I like historic people better than people in the present. Everyone is more interesting after they die. I suppose most people would choose Shakespeare, Da Vinci, Jesus maybe. It's very hard to choose. Especially since all of history is written by man; the only dishonest creature on the planet. Human beings love drama, adventure, exaggerating. How can anyone be sure of what's really happened in history? If we can believe history is accurate, I would say I'd like to have a conversation with a woman who was different for her time. Perhaps Queen Elizabeth or Mae West. Probably Mae West. :)

If you could alter one physical characteristic of your mate, what would change?

 Ok, now it's getting difficult. My husband is a pretty good looking guy all around. He's got the cutest smile and long eye lashes over green eyes. He's just cute. :) . I guess if I had to change something it might be his feet. I hate feet anyway unless they're baby feet. My husband has really rough looking hands and feet because he is a very hard worker. I love his rough hands though. They feel like sand paper but soft hands on a man is like the biggest turn off ever, aside from back hair. My husbands feet though are crazy. They look like hobbit feet without all the hair. They're size 13 which is ridiculous. But you know what they say about guys with big feet. They wear big socks. Feet gross me out cause some people's smell bad and some people have toe nail fungus and all that junk. Ugh, I'm getting grossed out just talking about it. But as long as he sits around the house in his socks I can admire the rest of him.

If you could have an elegant dinner alone with anyone presently alive, whether you knew them or not, who would you want it to be?

 This is kind of like the "who would you stay up all night talking to" question. But having dinner with Jack White doesn't sound as fun just like staying up all night talking to the president doesn't sound like fun. So, someone to have dinner with...someone you would only have an hour tops to talk with and who you wouldn't mind watching you eat. I would pick someone funny. Dinner's always better when it's funny. Probably a woman would be less awkward to have dinner with. Got it. Emma Stone. I think she is the funniest woman of my generation. I love her attitude and her personality and her humor. She's a genius. Well, her a Zoe Dechanel. She's amazing too. But I like Emma just a little bit more.

If you had to eliminate any single type of animal forevermore which would you choose?

 Ah, yes! There it is. SPIDERS. They count as an animal, right? I hate spiders. There's something about the way they are shaped that scares the buh-jesus out of me. Very very small ones aren't so bad as long as they aren't fuzzy. But anything bigger than a quarter inch, torch it. Giant terrifying spiders? Forget about it. Gone. I will wreck a car over a spider on the windshield. And I've noticed my entire life that everytime I see a spider and don't kill it immediately I will see it later. At first, I'll see a spider hanging out on the ceiling and I'll just ignore it. Within 20 minutes I'll see that same damn spider dangling in front of my face. I saw a spider crawling across the floor once. I tried to kill it, I fucking missed. Then I went to put on my shoe later and there he was sitting on my foot like "What's up?" Asshole spiders...
 I've heard though that if all the world spiders were suddenly gone there would be nothing to eat the millions of other bugs and the world we be conquered within a very short amount of time. It's a wonder we're still here at all considering the delicate balance of nature that we've already tampered with so much. The moral of the story is "spiders suck." End.


I would normally put a picture of a spider here, but I don't even like to see pictures of them. I also can't eat crab legs because they look like giant spider legs.

If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of?

 For me, spiders come to mind right away. But that's because I'm terrified of spiders and I'm also apparently a little stupid. I think I can recall a science teacher telling me that spiders are not insects. Insects have 6 legs. Yes, that sounds right. So, something with 6 legs...there aren't too many other things that I dislike aside from spiders. I suppose cave crickets freak me out. Their exoskeletons or whatever are clear. It's gross. And creepy. But if we're being honest eliminating any one particular insect could bring down the entire world for all we know. You get rid of bees and the plants don't get pollinated and nothing grows and the whole world dies of starvation. No good.

If you could have lived through any war in history (without actually fighting in it), which would it be?

 This is an odd question. Why would anyone want to be around during a war? Wars kind of suck. I supposed my choice would be a tie between Vietnam and World War II. Only because of the time period. I could either be a long haired no make-up wearing hippie or a conservative house wife with 20 different colored poka-dotted dresses and look completely normal wearing red lipstick everyday. It's a tough call. As much as I love hippie culture, I like to look pretty more. :) So I would take the 40's. Another thing I like more about WWII is that people were willing to pull together and do whatever it took for their country, but during the war in Vietnam most of the people were very much against it. I'd rather be getting along then arguing. Not that I wouldn't be an excellent protester. I would indeed. But I honestly think I'm cut more from the 40's than the 60's. That's why I ♥ Lucy.