If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?

This is a good question. I like historic people better than people in the present. Everyone is more interesting after they die. I suppose most people would choose Shakespeare, Da Vinci, Jesus maybe. It's very hard to choose. Especially since all of history is written by man; the only dishonest creature on the planet. Human beings love drama, adventure, exaggerating. How can anyone be sure of what's really happened in history? If we can believe history is accurate, I would say I'd like to have a conversation with a woman who was different for her time. Perhaps Queen Elizabeth or Mae West. Probably Mae West. :)

If you could alter one physical characteristic of your mate, what would change?

 Ok, now it's getting difficult. My husband is a pretty good looking guy all around. He's got the cutest smile and long eye lashes over green eyes. He's just cute. :) . I guess if I had to change something it might be his feet. I hate feet anyway unless they're baby feet. My husband has really rough looking hands and feet because he is a very hard worker. I love his rough hands though. They feel like sand paper but soft hands on a man is like the biggest turn off ever, aside from back hair. My husbands feet though are crazy. They look like hobbit feet without all the hair. They're size 13 which is ridiculous. But you know what they say about guys with big feet. They wear big socks. Feet gross me out cause some people's smell bad and some people have toe nail fungus and all that junk. Ugh, I'm getting grossed out just talking about it. But as long as he sits around the house in his socks I can admire the rest of him.

If you could have an elegant dinner alone with anyone presently alive, whether you knew them or not, who would you want it to be?

 This is kind of like the "who would you stay up all night talking to" question. But having dinner with Jack White doesn't sound as fun just like staying up all night talking to the president doesn't sound like fun. So, someone to have dinner with...someone you would only have an hour tops to talk with and who you wouldn't mind watching you eat. I would pick someone funny. Dinner's always better when it's funny. Probably a woman would be less awkward to have dinner with. Got it. Emma Stone. I think she is the funniest woman of my generation. I love her attitude and her personality and her humor. She's a genius. Well, her a Zoe Dechanel. She's amazing too. But I like Emma just a little bit more.

If you had to eliminate any single type of animal forevermore which would you choose?

 Ah, yes! There it is. SPIDERS. They count as an animal, right? I hate spiders. There's something about the way they are shaped that scares the buh-jesus out of me. Very very small ones aren't so bad as long as they aren't fuzzy. But anything bigger than a quarter inch, torch it. Giant terrifying spiders? Forget about it. Gone. I will wreck a car over a spider on the windshield. And I've noticed my entire life that everytime I see a spider and don't kill it immediately I will see it later. At first, I'll see a spider hanging out on the ceiling and I'll just ignore it. Within 20 minutes I'll see that same damn spider dangling in front of my face. I saw a spider crawling across the floor once. I tried to kill it, I fucking missed. Then I went to put on my shoe later and there he was sitting on my foot like "What's up?" Asshole spiders...
 I've heard though that if all the world spiders were suddenly gone there would be nothing to eat the millions of other bugs and the world we be conquered within a very short amount of time. It's a wonder we're still here at all considering the delicate balance of nature that we've already tampered with so much. The moral of the story is "spiders suck." End.


I would normally put a picture of a spider here, but I don't even like to see pictures of them. I also can't eat crab legs because they look like giant spider legs.

If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of?

 For me, spiders come to mind right away. But that's because I'm terrified of spiders and I'm also apparently a little stupid. I think I can recall a science teacher telling me that spiders are not insects. Insects have 6 legs. Yes, that sounds right. So, something with 6 legs...there aren't too many other things that I dislike aside from spiders. I suppose cave crickets freak me out. Their exoskeletons or whatever are clear. It's gross. And creepy. But if we're being honest eliminating any one particular insect could bring down the entire world for all we know. You get rid of bees and the plants don't get pollinated and nothing grows and the whole world dies of starvation. No good.

If you could have lived through any war in history (without actually fighting in it), which would it be?

 This is an odd question. Why would anyone want to be around during a war? Wars kind of suck. I supposed my choice would be a tie between Vietnam and World War II. Only because of the time period. I could either be a long haired no make-up wearing hippie or a conservative house wife with 20 different colored poka-dotted dresses and look completely normal wearing red lipstick everyday. It's a tough call. As much as I love hippie culture, I like to look pretty more. :) So I would take the 40's. Another thing I like more about WWII is that people were willing to pull together and do whatever it took for their country, but during the war in Vietnam most of the people were very much against it. I'd rather be getting along then arguing. Not that I wouldn't be an excellent protester. I would indeed. But I honestly think I'm cut more from the 40's than the 60's. That's why I ♥ Lucy.

If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

 This is a toughie. I wouldn't want to transport alone and leave my family. But say they are not a factor. Most people would say a tropical island, but I like the cold. I think shades of blue ice and white clouds are much better than sand and humidity and salt water. I went to Alaska with my dad when I was a kid. I would love to go back. I'd like to see the Northern Lights in more brilliant colors than green with a little pink as before. And this time around I would be old enough to ride on the edge of the raft instead of inside it with all the freezing water; not that you don't get wet anyway.
 So I suppose my answer is a warm cabin at the top of a mountain in Alaska preferably during the summer though. Not much to see in the constant dark of winter. So, does that change my answer? The question is "this moment." At this very moment, I think I'm happy where I'm at. Sitting here, watching my kids play at the foot of my bed. This place is pretty good.

If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select?

 This is probably up for interpretation. Some may take it as "Who would you sleep with?" but I'll just take it as "Who would you stay up all night talking to?"
 It's a hard question. It depends on what I would want to know I suppose. I could stay up all night talking to Jack White to feed my musical interest, Stephen Hawking to learn more about the universe, Chevy Chase for my funny bone, or Jon Stewart for political views. Or I could just stay up all night talking to my kids :). But, as usual, music wins with me. I sincerely think that Jack White may be the most genius musician of my time. If I were born in the 50's or 60's I may have someone better. But for my generation, I put Jack at the top of the list. His music and lyrics are amazing. And he is a real musician. It's so difficult to find artists now who can even play an instrument, let alone understand real music. In the past 15 years there's been very little in the music world to be remembered.
 If you've been living under a rock and don't know who Jack White is he is the lead singer in a few bands; The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, and Dead Weather. He also produces albums for other artists such as Loretta Lynn, Tom Jones, and ICP. Some of what I consider to be his best songs are Icky Thump, Hotel Yorba, and Catch Hell Blues.
 If we're being honest there's no way in hell Jack White would enjoy talking with me all night. I can't play anything so we don't have much in common and I'm not nearly as in tune with the universe as he seems to be. I love music but other than being a listener, I'm not much involved with it. At least not enough to seem interesting to a real musician.

If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?

 This is a popular one with my mother. She often says "To not have a reason to wish for anything." That's the perfect answer too. Vague, but perfect. Of course, what all would you need to fix to ensure that you would never need to wish for anything else? Millions of things, that's what. I suppose you could dig clear down to the very basic of things that would pretty much fix us all, right? Like, wishing everyone felt the need to recycle or didn't feel the need to hurt each other. Fix world hunger, AIDS, cancer, pollution. But, if I had to pick one specific thing that would only effect me I suppose it would be my emotions. Everyone I know thinks I'm a bitch. In some aspects I take pride in having the guts to say what I think. But it gets so old listening to people say "Smile, it could be worse!" Smeh....I'm not frowning. Or glaring or anything at all really. I'm usually thinking. But there is something about the way I hold my face that makes me look mean. I've seen the same thing in other people's faces and thought to myself "What the hell is their problem?" But there's nothing I can do about this face of mine. My attitude is less than awesome a lot of the time. Or at least that's what people tell me. I like to make jokes, but I don't like them to made about me. I can get very mad and stay that way for extended periods of time. I have very strange moments of zen. Usually I am alone. I can feel this serene feeling when I'm driving and listening to the perfect song or sometimes when I'm just sitting on the couch listening to my kids laugh in the next room. The moments are fleeting, but very strong while they're here. So if I were granted on wish if would be to have more of those moments.